You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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