my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
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I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
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What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
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