it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
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