I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Non-Jews are for practice
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
two words...techno handjob
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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