how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
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using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
She has the best kind of daddy issues
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