if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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