the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize