He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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