She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
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I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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