I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize