I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize