You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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