I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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