I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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