When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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