This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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