mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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