Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Pants are for mortals
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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