First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Just high enough for therapy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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