I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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