Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize