Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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