At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize