he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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