You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
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Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
This baby is an asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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