I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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