He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
it glows. i had to have it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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