You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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