i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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