i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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