Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
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all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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