1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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