Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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