There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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