come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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