I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
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the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
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