So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize