ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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