Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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