since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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