Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
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