wanna go halves on a baby?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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