I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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