Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
He? As in you personified your dick?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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