grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is classic penis vs brain.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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