So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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