I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
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We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
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you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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