i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize