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I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
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