This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize