is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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